deathproof

2012-02-14T15:32:00.000-06:00

Sitting at a table with my mom and my dad's ex-wife. Yeah, funerals can bring together some unexpected circumstances. Saw my brother and my sister, neither recognized me. My cousin pointed me out to my sister, and she greeted me, but my brother has yet to say anything. I shook my uncle's hand and offered condolences. I sent Marisa a message.

2012-02-12T22:53:00.003-06:00

Friday, I found out my aunt died. I feel for my uncle who'll be spending Valentine's Day laying her to rest. Haven't heard from Marisa at all. Hasn't stopped me from thinking about her pretty much everyday. You must be certain there's something wrong with me, especially if you've been following my ups and downs since I started blogging. I inadvertently got a new TV last Thursday, I'm not too crazy about it. It was meant for my mom, but doesn't fit in her room. So I moved it to my office and the one that was in there to my kitchen. Catching up on "Californication" I've been recording since the premier but not watching. I went to see "Underworld: Awakening" with Kym tonight! It was AWESOME, and now I'm VERY excited to see "Wrath of the Titans". How could I not be? Marilyn Manson and Greek mythology...the trailer rocked.

2012-02-02T23:43:00.000-06:00

The ECU needs to be reprogramed or replaced. The guys at the shop said the computer wouldn't even talk to the diagnostic device. Since they can't access it, they can't read the errors to pinpoint the failure. I'm gonna find an ECU at a junkyard and pop it in. But for now...I'm just gonna save and try to buy that Sonic.

2012-02-01T22:54:00.000-06:00

I saw a shooting star tonight, wished for what you'd expect me to. Happy Black History Month! My truck broke down this weekend...the shop I took it to has vowed to make sense of the problems I'm experiencing. I can't seem to get out of the house on time lately.

2012-01-23T23:54:00.002-06:00

I turned 21 again today. A decree set forth by the populous. I'm getting SO old. I don't ever wanna reach 30. As expected, Marisa didn't write me back or call me...and well...obviously did not go on a date with me. Candy bought me a muffin and put a candle on it, Darrell bought me a Coke. A handful of people wished me a happy birthday at work. I bought myself some new tires, and Jessica took me out to eat. Now I'm typing this up and listening to Sum 41. I'm still pretty madly in love with Marisa...I don't think I'll ever not be. I wanna marry her.

2012-01-22T22:24:00.001-06:00

There will always be a possibility, but it feels so unlikely that tomorrow will go as my imagination planned. The lie I feed myself is that she forgot, itself not so pleasant, but a notion better than a truth born of ignorance elected. With no secrets, decisions are rooted in malice in my perception. Altruism even when misplaced is torture nonetheless and interpreted as malicious. Expectations are my gravest, longest enduring foe. Set so high, so far beyond my means. Wishes, while well, will offer no solace. Comfort absent amid necessity in this misunderstood calamity of great intentions. Tomorrow, my new year begins in silence.

2012-01-15T16:29:00.001-06:00

Freedom is so close. I repaired my lens again. I didn't like the way it looked, so I worked out a cleaner solution. You can't even tell it was ever damaged. On inspection it looks like the real repair won't so tough. I think I've found where to get the bolts I need for my truck, I just need to take a few measurements. Birthday is gettin' closer and closer. Still no reply from Marisa. Not that I was expecting, only hoping. I can make her blush and giggle, make her putty in my hands....I just can't make her mine. I already bought myself some birthday presents they should be here on my birthday. I was looking into getting myself a 1911 but I don't think that'll be happening.

2012-01-09T21:16:00.003-06:00

Weather was pretty crummy today. Streets flooded in Houston, was no match for my truck, but still took its toll. License plate was ripped off, crazy thing is the bolts were still there. It also broke a clip that holds my indicator/driving light lens in places. I zip tied it to the grill. I have to go to the Tax Collector's office tomorrow to get new plates. Which will make me a little late...and see me forfeit my lunch break. But that's OK, I'll just order a pizza.

2012-01-08T21:07:00.002-06:00

Friday, I woke up early, and feeling sick. I was watching a Criminal Minds marathon before going to bed. When I woke up, it was still on. I felt like I was being crushed...I was somewhere between awake and asleep. I could see the previous episode and the current one at the same time, but then the previous episode shrunk and turned into a ring that orbited the one currently airing. I drifted between completely awake and somewhat asleep until about 4 when I awoke for good. I felt extremely weak and disoriented. Being the only person who could run my department I HAD to go to work. Also I'd promised Donovan a ride in to town. As the day went on a headache grew in severity and the weakness increased and decreased. I was barely able to orient myself by the end of the day. It truly is a wonder I made it home at all. Donovan was with me, so I just loaned him the truck for the night and went to bed. I slept for an hour and a half....and I awoke feeling completely refreshed. I felt really warm, but no longer weak, and with out any signs of that headache. But this was only a trick, I fell back asleep and when I awoke two hours later, I was feeling weaker than before. My chest felt like one of those fat chicks I refuse to take on date sat on it. This whole week end I've mostly staggered between rooms in the house and avoided the outside world. I didn't eat anything at all on Friday. Saturday night I had a brisket sandwich and fries...I started another, but only got halfway through. I felt a little stronger after, but whatever was tryin' to take me down has been hangin' on tight. I'm 80% better now, but still can't eat as much as I normally do. Its not that I'm full, just that the food loses its flavor.

2012-01-05T22:07:00.002-06:00

It feels so late but it isn't. I'm thinking of relocating the radiator. I need to buy new tires soon..or my discount will expire. I've got my fingers crossed, but I have a feeling the 23rd won't go the way I planned. I've had these flashes of a memory I haven't made yet. Probably just a compilation of expectations and past instances of success. I'm three hits away from 1,000 which sure has taken a while. I don't know what I expected though....when I decided to start from scratch. When I returned the to audience I abandoned.

2012-01-03T21:09:00.002-06:00

Well, it would seem this month isn't off to much better of a start than the last. On my way to work this morning a rock slammed into my windshield and hit it SO HARD glass actually flew into the cab and landed on my dash. Oh, but lets back up a bit...back to this morning when I first got in my truck...a bird crapped on the handle. THE HANDLE! Anyway, when I got to my truck to leave for lunch, a six inch crack was sprouting from the chip in the glass. After lunch, Donovan calls me, the shop was done with their assessment of the Camaro. Radiator and heater core need replacing. I told Vince about it and he told me that replacing the heater core is a very long tedious process that takes about two days. The radiator I know isn't that hard at all, but is tedious...takes about 2 or 3 hours. I offered to let him back out and call it a day. But Donovan really wants to get the car running and keep using it. So I'm more than willing to help him do the work or do it all myself, so long as he buys the parts. First, we're going to try to flush it out. From there, we'll start swappin' parts.

2012-01-02T22:51:00.003-06:00

Twenty three days from now I'm free. I had a dream I went to a store last night, a certain someone was working there. For some reason I was convinced I HAD to get in there and talk to them. I'm too sleepy to get through the details, but I infiltrated the store...and never got the mission accomplished. I got a call earlier from Donovan's mom...telling me he was stuck in Katy. I raced out to see what the problem was. The car ran out of gas and was overheating. We put some water in the radiator and after pumping some gas, headed to Sealy. I told him if he thought it was low on coolant they would check and top it off. As I looked on, I saw the fluid pouring out while the technician tried to trace the leak. So, for now the car is locked up in the shop, and Donovan is going to see what can be done to fix it. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to find him a job. Hopefully there isn't too much work that needs to be done. I've got my fingers crossed its just a hose or loose cap.

2011-12-31T22:44:00.002-06:00

A new year? Really? People still get excited about that? How about celebrating a new moment? Life isn't guaranteed you know, Be grateful for the time you get as you get it. Change? New beginning? Don't try to sell me on the thought that a new year is a fresh start. You can start over any time you like, You DON'T have to wait for a new day, week, month, or year just to...start losing weight, go back to school, or save money. Why put off for tomorrow what you can do today? Enact change instantly, not tentatively. Besides there is no new year until the 23rd for me. Speaking of which, I can already feel my month take effect.

2011-12-27T23:47:00.000-06:00

Thirteen minutes left to post. What can I say? Work is pretty boring. Not much to do as the year comes to a close. The car has been registered once more. But would not pass inspection. A few tweaks here and there and I think we got it. We'll see when he takes it in again.

2011-12-26T21:49:00.002-06:00

Kwanzaa starts today! Tomorrow starts a four day work week. Donovan and I got the car running, all it needed was a new battery, and a bit of a charge...also some gas. He's going to get it registered and inspected tomorrow. It was pretty great to see it running again. I haven't got too much to do, but what there is...its kinda extensive. A shortage of hotspots is making it hard to work on the notebook. That and distractions just keep comin' at me. I should be balancin' my books right now, but here I am typing away. I'm pretty excited about getting some extra income. Also, I can't wait to get to get my taxes done!

2011-12-25T20:34:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas! Just in case, I missed you when I was texting and posting on everyone's wall's and profiles. I'm starting to get the hang of Mint. The more I use it, the cooler it gets! I just need to get to the point where I can do some REAL work, like I do in Windows. Donovan and I are going to get parts for the Camaro tomorrow, hopefully we'll have it running soon. For the moment its all online stuff, which I could do with my phone, or Windows system. I do, think it may be time to build a dual boot system. Maybe 7/Mint I need to buy a new fridge, and about three new TV's. Actually, my TV is doin' pretty good, but the one in the kitchen and in the spare bedroom are both going out. I asked out Marisa, maybe I'll get lucky and she'll say yes. The plan is to see the new Underworld movie on my birthday.

2011-12-21T22:10:00.002-06:00

I was busy frying chicken last night, so I didn't get around to typing anything. Yesterday was an interesting day, though. I went to lunch and stopped at a gas station to get a drink to go with my food. When I walked out, a man in a wheel chair was there. He told me he was stranded and asked if I'd give him a ride. Even though there was no evidence to suggest he was trying to con me, I was very uneasy about the whole thing. I told him I had errands to run and that I would come back for him when I was done. I went on to get my lunch and considered what he said the whole time. No matter how many times I went over it, I couldn't decide. I concluded I would drive by the gas station and if he was waiting for me, I'd pick him up. So once my food was ready, I readied my knives and drove back to where I left him. He was gone. The whole thing was SO weird, I mean...he was in a wheel chair, but didn't have a way to get home? He told me he was new to Houston, got turned around and needed a ride home. If he doesn't know his way around, how does he know how to get back to where he lives? I would've called a cab for him, if I'd known the number, I was relating this story to a co-worker today, and he told me that Metro will pick up the stranded disabled. If only I'd known that.

2011-12-19T22:08:00.004-06:00

Work was OK today, kinda slow...not too slow. I went out to get Miguel's Christmas present and they didn't have it at the first store I went to. I ended up going after work without meaning too. I completely forgot that I drive by an Academy EVERYDAY on my way to and from work. Its right on Highway 6. Needless to say, someone is gonna have a VERY Merry Christmas. For behold, what I have gotten him...

I have to go to court tomorrow...I'm almost totally in the clear.

2011-12-18T23:59:00.004-06:00

Only have a minute to throw this together before it's tomorrow. Today went well, got some work lined up for tomorrow...and I've now got plans for Christmas. Saw some pretty girls at church...noticed them noticing me. That sort of thing. Tonight's episode of Dexter was AMAZING. It doesn't matter that that was the only way Debra was ever gonna find out about him. Still shocking. I am anxious to see what will become of Matthews and the intern. Maybe Dexter and the nanny will hook up..who knows? Probably not...I can't imagine Angel allowing it. But I can see her hitting on him or at least developing a small crush. Maybe she and Debra can fight over him. Maybe the intern also has a crush on him.

2011-12-17T23:41:00.001-06:00

I had a dream last night. It stuck with me all day. I was taking my mom somewhere via either a bus or a plane. Not sure which, we approached a bus terminal but as we got through the lobby...we end were taken to an outdoor staircase. It seemed to bulge out toward the middle, at that point you feel gravity tug at you with every step. At one point I could hold the rails and loosen my footing and hang from the rail. At this point I started taking bigger steps. Once over the bulge the stairs leveled back out. On the way up I could see planes flying overhead and other stairs that ended on either side and just over the horizon. They ended at their apex and hung over me like balconies. Then I saw my mom walking along one of them...a little girl walked on another and jumped off on to a floating platform. Finally when I stepped on to the summit, I saw crowds, cars, and buses. A road stretched out along side the parking lot. I tries to make sense if this place that had roads where the sky should be and planes flying through stairs that spiral around each other. Before giving it enough thought to act, I heard someone calling for me and saw my mom. On my way across the lot and through the crowd, I heard a man yell. The crowd erupted in chaos. Lights were flashing across the sky. A man drew a gun and opened fire, but instead if bullets it shot plasmoids. Two hit a pair of men running for cover. One fell to the ground in agony, the other stumbled about. I heard something sizzling like bacon on a frying pan. He screamed and the part where he'd been hit began to glow. His hair ignited and the embers withdrew gracefully. But the sound persisted...he staggered a bit longer the top of his head fell off. It was like it had been sliced off just beneath his nose. His hand reached up to touch what used to be the top of his head...and his body flailed about as he cried out in terror. I couldn't understand what had happened or how his body was still alive and aware if his situation. That's when I woke up.

2011-12-16T23:56:00.003-06:00

Got our checks late today...really late. Other than that, the day went pretty well. Notebook has not locked up since I've done those updates. I still can't seem to figure out how to change the welcome screen wallpaper. I wish I had something worth writing about. I saw that giant hole in the ground I dreamed about the other day. It was in a field on the way to Katy off of I-10.

2011-12-15T22:14:00.003-06:00

I'm getting tired...and bored. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to start taking on more challenges. Everything is running pretty well in Mint, but there just isn't much for me to do just yet. I hope soon I'll be able to use this system to its full potential. Once I've got it all figured out, I'll move on to building a dedicated desktop. I am really wanting some brisket right now. *sigh* We're having a potluck next week...I have been selected to fix fried chicken..just like last year. I have to feed 13 people.

2011-12-14T21:02:00.003-06:00

It's kinda weird switching between GUI and CLI from one task to another. But I'm getting used to it. In a way it's kind of cool and reassuring. The way I see it, just 'cause someone can get to my system, doesn't mean they'll know how to launch any applications. That's of course if they can get passed my password. Which they won't. I tried to load Opera...but that didn't pan out. I was late today, a whole half hour! Jim demanded I wait for him in the kitchen (aka the break room). See, they were having a sales meeting, and he saw me as I walked passed the door to clock in. He would NOT look me in the eye as we spoke...that was kinda weird. But ultimately he said that it was my last warning..and that I was "pushing the envelope". I guess that means in his eyes, I'm like a racy cable network. I ended up pissing him off later when I asked if I could leave early. See, I'd missed me lunch because there was no one to relieve me, since my boss didn't make it in. He told me I HAD to take a lunch and that the tech manager had to cover for me.

2011-12-13T23:22:00.005-06:00

Twice yesterday, once today...this notebook has locked up and crashed on me. I'm wondering if maybe it has something to do with the installation...maybe some of the files were somehow corrupted. I was doing some updates today on a WiFi network I found...and wasn't able to finish, I had to head back to work. So I'm not sure if I'll have to start all over again, or if it'll just pick up where it left off when I try again tomorrow. having used Windows for a supremely long time now...and having had limited exposure to DOS when it was the be all end all, it's kind of weird to go back to having to use the terminal screen to tweak stuff. But I have successfully begun to make my changes. Removing the guest account, changing the log in screen wallpaper. Pretty simple stuff, but soon I'll be doin' bigger more impressive things, I hope. Pretty sure I'm gonna be moving over to an SSD as soon as I can find one in my price range. I looked at a Scorpio Black, but am leaning toward SSD because of lower power consumption...what with no moving parts and all. If you're wondering, I'm fairly certain I've abandoned my experiment. I concluded I need to focus on me and what I want. Not so much on testing theories by bringing to life hypothetical situations. Had a dream last night that I was driving down the highway...and a huge hole appeared when it was too late for me to stop. My truck dove in, I was able to stop before crashing into the wall. The truck behind me collapsed the wall behind us when it fell in. So I put my truck in reverse, pushed him out, then backed out myself.

2011-12-12T22:28:00.002-06:00

I saw this laptop at work and I offered to buy it from the owner. He ended up giving it to me. It had a few issues...bright spots on the screen, and a bad USB port. Not really bad..just has something stuck in there. I loaded Mint 12 on it a few hours ago, I haven't seen too many issues, but there are some. It already locked up on me...but the hardware could be to blame. I'm taking it with me tomorrow to work so I can get drivers. I'm trying to find my way around the OS. I'm watching "Faster" again...this movie is really interesting. I'm trying to customize my desktop...but it looks like I need to install some extra stuff to do that.

2011-12-11T18:36:00.001-06:00

Time for laundry...not a huge fan. I miss having my maid do it for me. Life is doing its best to confuse me these days. It feels like I'm moving all over aimlessly, waiting for that moment when my gut says "GO THIS WAY". I don't want that for me. I also still have that feeling of urgency...the one that says I NEED to act or lose the girl of my dreams forever. Everyone seems to say walk away...I know I need to stay. But these notions turn up in my head, hinting I should stray. But that would be a lie. I have for SO long fought to get just what I want, just how I want it. How could I give up on that? Would it be something the girl I propagate this lie with could figure out? If she knew, would she play along? Who knows. They're always saying I need to get married. But, I'm madly in love with a girl who might be more stubborn than me. One whose words and actions contradict each other. Why? Why does she betray the truth I've uncovered in her heart? Am I really going to spend what's left of my life chasing a dream never meant to be, for fear it will, if I don't? Imagine...that.

2011-12-05T23:02:00.001-06:00

I did some updates on my phone and through the course of installing them...updated Android. Looks all different now...but certainly looks cooler than it did before. Still trying to get the hang of typing on this touch screen. Battery lasts a pretty good while..seems to go on and on forever. Depletes and charges in increments of 10 that makes it hard to tell just how much charge is left. Or how much it has been charged since plugging it in. Feeling kinda sick, sore throat...coughing...that sorta thing.

2011-12-04T22:18:00.000-06:00

Life is feeling different...not sure why. But when have I been when things got this way? I went to sleep and woke up thinking about Marisa. Life, it has this sense...lately...that change is coming. Bad change...and that things won't be getting better. But why, and how? Doesn't life realize I spend my days talking my way out of trouble? Hasn't that become a recurring theme? Is something SO big I can't avoid it over the horizon? I have these visions of a lonely old man who hates the world...can't be me, can it?

2011-12-03T22:01:00.000-06:00

I got an Atrix today! Only cost me $18.88 AND I got a $100 giftcard too! It took a little work to make things pan out like I wanted...and it took ALL afternoon to get the phone. I am having issues with a certain application...but am confident I'll find a way around it soon. Great to have a dual-core phone. Capturing video is gonna take some practice...I'm rendering videos that come out bigger than the source. Just a bit of tweaking should do it. What I posted earlier was a dream I had last night.

2011-12-03T08:43:00.001-06:00

I arrived a little late, pulled in to a parking garage and backed into a space next to a Corvette. I saw Miguel, Vince, and someone else. We walked up to the door that lead directly to the Tech Room. As I approached my area I saw the guys talking to Candy. When I just about reached my desk, she came out with a clipboard and said to go home, because I was late. I laughed a little at how ridiculous it was since this was not a regular work day. Then I walked out through a different door than I'd come in...it took me into a hallway with rows of lockers and full of high school kids. I saw a way out and turned left down another hall. This one had fewer students and lockers. It ended in a section of walls that served almost as a maze. I took a right to head back in the direction I was previously in, and at the intersection for the next hall, kids were standing and waiting for others to walk down the hall as if it were a parade. They had lawn chairs and everything. I walked among them so as not to become a spectacle. Saw a busty blonde and took a peek down her shirt. Then things cleared up and I made another right, which took me into a dimly lit auditorium where they were screening a movie. I made my way through the seats making fun of the movie as I went. Just as I exited the auditorium I noticed the projector could be controlled via bluetooth and was tempted to take over, but abandoned the thought when I saw a bathroom. Before I could go in, Donovan and Jason greeted me. We talked...and caught up...then I made my escape. Once I reached the bathroom I looked in the mirror and realized I was only wearing a T-shirt and boxers. I'd hoped no one notice before I left the bathroom...but then there was movement from the stall. It was a weird bathroom, small, and on the left as you enter you see a mirror and sink. Next to them two toilets, then a partition, another toilet, and a stall. I went to pee in the partitioned toilet and heard a voice call out to me. It was Kelly, he saw me come in and wanted to catch up. As I flushed, I noticed that somehow I'd gotten mustard all over my boxers. When we were finally done talking, I ran out of the building. As I walked toward the parking garage I saw a man and a red tank. He tried to convince me I couldn't stop him, but didn't say from what. This of course was after he noticed me snapping pictures of him and his tank with my phone. He wrapped some sort of whip around me and it stole the life force from me. Then some how it wasn't me...some kid took my place. I told him not to worry that it would be OK...and that's all it took. The man with the whip said there was hope yet for us and left.

2011-11-29T00:17:00.003-06:00

So the trip back was LONG. The bus we took was on a different course than the others I've taken. It stayed off of I-10 and took us down 59 North, all the way from Laredo to Houston. Which...if you've never driven, is full of a whole lot of nothin'. We stopped at some buffet restaurant..where the waitress totally ignored me for some reason. We get paid Thursday. I'm going to have to call it a night...I'll post more about the trip later.

2011-11-27T09:29:00.001-06:00

So...Wednesday night was interesting. Donovan and I got to the bus stop at about 2:20. I go in, and ask for tickets only to be turned away! Dude says next bus leaves the following afternoon...14:30. We sat in my truck trying to make up a plan. We decided to go to Wal-mart, park...and sleep. On our way there we passed another bus stop. I was sure their response would be the same as the last's but Donovan insisted I ask. I did and they happened to have tickets for every hour. I bought one for 3:30 and that was that. I arrived in Monterey at 11:30.

2011-11-23T20:25:00.003-06:00

I'm here at Donovan's gym, waiting on him to wrap things up so we can head to San Antonio where I'll be taking the bus to Mexico. And he will be taking my truck back, from where he came. I intended on leaving right after work, but I had a few loose ends to tie up. I wrote about the potluck at work..right? No?!?! Hmm...well, at the last minute, they announced we were having a potluck...which of course I thought was comnpany wide...so I started wonderin' what I can provide enough of to feed EVERYONE. I started throwing ridiculous things out there like...Tacos, Ice Cream, Chicken Nuggets, Brisket..and the like. Never actually taking the inatiative to get up and check the list on the sales floor. Finally someone went and checked for me, and it was suggested I bring corn. My boss and Candy suggested I get the kind that is frozen with the Jolly Green Giant. So I wander the frozen food ailse and come upon a bag of frozen corn with a green giant. I snap a pic and forward it to Candy and Darrell, they both concur; it's the right stuff. So I go on over to find a bowl...my attempt proves to be a failure from the start. ALL the bowls were either parts of sets or TOO big for the microwave they'd be prepared in. At this point is worth noting I'd be using the microwave at work NOT my own. So I tell myself as I scan the racks that SURELY, I MUST, have a bowling fitting of the occasion. As I scanvenge the kitchen drawers I find I don't. I'm certain I do, but I don't. I conclude my best strategy is to sleep and MAYBE wake up early enough to fix it on the stove. Oh...I bought 76 cobs of corn. Is that right? Is that how you would say it? Well, that's how I'm saying it. So fastforward to 1:30, I'm still awake with no sign of fading. Next thing I know it's 4:30 I know because "Angel" isn't on yet and "Married...with Children" is. I fall asleep and find my way back to mostly awake a half hour later. My hopes of fixing the corn growing ever derrilect as I grow closer and close to the opening scenes of "Charmed" I roll out of bed and shower. Just before 7:30 I call AND wake up Vince asking he help me out with a plate to fix the corn on. After that I promptly head to work. As I approach the employee entrance, I am greeted with laughter as everyone asks me what I'm thinking bringing frozen corn on the cob. Only NOW do Darrell and Candy clarify they meant loose kernels. Not knowing what else to do, I clock out a few minutes after clocking in, go to Wal-Mart, and talk the girl at the service desk into exchanging my corn. All in all the potluck went off with out a hitch. Not much else really happened today...if I think of anything I'll post from the bus.

2011-11-21T23:43:00.000-06:00

Getting closer to my departure, I've got too much to fix before I go. I just won something on GetGlue...some kinda Weezer autographed CD and Bonus pack. Still haven't heard from Marisa, I was looking forward to seeing her...but looks like that won't happen in the foreseeable future. Not sleepy...at all. But I need to...have to get through tomorrow. I had a Triple Steak Stack for lunch...it was OK. Mmm...I'm going to go watch Criminal Minds....

2011-11-20T16:29:00.002-06:00

I just tried to fix my garage door...now I'm terribly exhausted. I need a real Mexican to come fix it. See...for some reason it was locked, so I took the part that held it shut apart so i could open it. But then I pushed it too far, and almost dropped the door on top of my car. I tried to jump start it yesterday, to no avail. I'm not crazy about investing much more into that tired V6. If I can't get my hands on another LS, then I may just have to take the Vortec out of my truck and putting it in my car. I just HAVE to get it running again. I am really really desperate to get it sideways again.

2011-11-08T22:47:00.002-06:00

I'm SO bored. This whole week has sort of been dragging on and on. It's like I'm working my way up to something without knowing what it is. I'm sorta hungry..but also, my stomach hurts. Craving steak. Mmm...steak. So I was told there were supposed to be all these terrible storms here in Sealy. NOTHING happened while I was gone. I had the mini cookies at Jack in the Box...not bad. Can't wait to buy two or three orders with an Oreo Shake. Actually, now I'm sorta craving a blizzard. Paget Brewster is HOT.

2011-11-07T22:31:00.002-06:00

Going to see "Immortals" with Kym this weekend. I felt like I was getting sick earlier. But it seems to have passed. "Terra Nova" is gettin' pretty good. My desk got me in trouble at work. I activated my gift cards today. Had a feeling they wouldn't be good if I waited too long, but it turns out the funds NEVER expire. Finally made it out to McDonald's, they don't have ice cream...that sucked. But I had some apple pies and a Coke. Still shopping around for my next car or truck. I guess I just can't learn to focus. Just keep putting off getting parts for the car.

2011-11-06T22:15:00.002-06:00

So I been takin' my sweet time tryin' out the Pizza Hut version of Cinna Stix. For some reason I was sent a link for a free order of them. They were...well, not bad BUT they don't compare to Cinna Stix...'specially not mine. I'm very interested in playing Arkham City, but I'll probably wait until it's a little cheaper. I know I've been slow to post these days. I have lots to say...but I just can't seem to find how to convey it. This trip to Mexico I keep putting off has been on my mind a lo lately. I want to go see "Immortals" but who will go with me? No one probably. Jason called me this morning...he's officially looking to bring me on board. It only occurred to me later that my trip home might coincide with a day he needs to be at a show. I'm not gonna give much thought to it. We still need to iron out the details of my involvement.

2011-11-02T22:37:00.002-05:00

Payday came and went with some interesting bits. I'm not in a position to disclose details just yet, but I will once I am. This is TOO crazy not to mention. Especially when I predicted this would happen three months ago. I had some milanesa today. I'm craving candy. Shame I haven't got much more to report.

2011-10-31T23:23:00.002-05:00

I found the courage to write her. A bit crude..but my thoughts got across to her..I misspelled a word...'cause she makes me nervous. I'm not expecting a response. It'd be foolish to, but still I am waiting. Probably doesn't make too much sense to you. I've got this sense that things are losing purpose and value. Like instead of the walls closing in, they're thinning out. Had to run the department by myself briefly. I think I did well. No...I KNOW I did well. Tomorrow is payday!!!!! Actually, I'm not all that excited about it. I'm just thinkin' about how I really really want my woman back.

2011-10-26T23:21:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I go to court, and it's all done. I'm having trouble finding what I'm looking for. I got wrapped up reading stuff and didn't get around to posting yesterday. I got a great deal on tires today. $30 bought me a $100 voucher to use at Discount Tire. I was thinking of using it for new tires for my truck. But now I'm thinkin' new tires for the Camaro. But I haven't made my final decision just yet. I am SO sleepy, I want to give you a lot more content...but I don't know what to say.

2011-10-24T22:50:00.002-05:00

A day with fewer goings on then the one before. BBQ week isn't shaping up to be hectic at all. I didn't feel so great this morning, lots of sharp pain from my intestines...they felt cool and thin. There was some blood too. I've had worse nights, with a lot more blood, but presumably any amount of blood can't be good. My heart raced and there was general uneasiness in me. I'm certain I didn't sleep at all, rather, I slipped into a trance that left me in a sort of waking sleep. I've done this a few times, and am never any more tired in the morning than times I actually slept normally. As I got up, I had a lot of trouble breathing. My lungs felt sore as I inhaled. What's worse is the soreness sort of echoed even as I exhaled. Made me not want food or water...though I forced myself to sip now and again.

2011-10-23T22:04:00.002-05:00

New episode of "Dexter"! Oh, "A Horse of a Different Color" is the title of this episode..just like the Big & Rich album. I wonder if the new black guy is supposed to be like a new Doakes. Cops getting high in a Trans-Am is interesting too. I pretty much slept all day. Weird work week ahead, three days of work, one of court, and one of company BBQ. I talked to my mom and uncle earlier. Dexter praying to a coffee dispenser is pretty classic. She'll be back soon. She sounds well, and I'm glad to note it, but I wonder how things will go when she's here. Crap...I need to pick up those swords for my boss.

2011-10-21T22:39:00.002-05:00

The world is still here...and far as I can tell, I'm not dead. Mr. Camping appears to once again have egg on his face. What's he going to say now? Haven't got much in the way of plans for this weekend. Maybe I'll just keep researching my next gun and do some reading. Still no new episodes of "ThunderCats" kind of annoying. Experiment is going well even though I've taken a few steps back and am not actively engaging in it. Passive experimentation isn't as bad as it sounds, essentially I'm commanding the sort of control I always knew to be natural. It takes initial effort, but leads to scenarios where all I've got to do is be present and myself. I'm watching an "Ancient Aliens" marathon on H2. It's all so fascinating.

2011-10-20T23:10:00.002-05:00

Hard to believe the week has already come and gone. Getting sleepy. Still don't know what to do with all my money. The internet has conflicting views regarding my knife. Everyone I've shown it to has been impressed with it. My boss liked it so much he bought a similar one. OK, I take back what I just said...I haven't read any reviews about my knife..as in the model I have...but the brand. Doesn't matter, knives, cars, guns...if you clean it, maintain it, and generally are good to it...it will serve you well for a long long time. I need to sharpen my knife. Still getting these urges to act...to do something, anything to turn things around. I'm going to bed...maybe I'll have an interesting day tomorrow.

2011-10-19T23:28:00.002-05:00

Headache...sorta. Today was SO uneventful. This whole week has had a way of just dragging on and on. It's slow because next week is BBQ week and everyone who plans on coming out will be dropping off ALL their stuff when they come by. They'll also expect it to be finished in 10 minutes or less. I'm craving fun...and distraction. I won a free Redbox rental today at McDonald's! I misread and thought it said I'd won a pair of Reeboks. I was trying to figure out what I'd do with them. Sorry I don't have much to share. I had a dream last night that I went grocery shopping, and when I went to get some Handi-Snacks they were all crumpled up. I bought a box today, and the first pack I opened had crumbled bread sticks. Crazy stuff. OK...I'm off to bed.

2011-10-18T22:15:00.002-05:00

So..my dad drove trucks and built stuff for a living. I sit at a desk and placate disgruntled morons. Is he proud of me? I did claw my way past his tax bracket's edge. Maybe that's why I'm overwhelmed with opportunities and the limitless directions I could go in. I don't know as much about him as I'd like...and therefore haven't got much to compare myself to. Or not...I couldn't really say I don't care what anyone thinks of me if I was worked up about his opinion, could I? What do you do, when you've become more than everything you ever wanted to be? From the lips of oblivion, to the thin partition of uncharted. I'm somewhere you've never dreamed of. I really want to talk to Marisa, but TALK not write. I want to look into her eyes...and maybe steal a kiss.

2011-10-17T22:28:00.002-05:00

Interesting day I had today, woke up incredibly early not sure what time...but very early. No clue what day it was, but I was determined to watch "Married...With Children". Somehow, I found it. Then I fell asleep...woke up again during "Home Improvement"...then I went back to sleep...and awoke to find "Angel" then I fell asleep...again. Woke up during "Charmed" made my way to the shower, got dressed...and was off. Running a little late I was greeted with fog all over the highway. I reached Fry Road and saw a big puff of smoke shoot skyward. Near it, I saw a white hatchback slowing and pulling toward the shoulder. As I came up the hill, I saw a Volvo just recently driven into the wall and a man pinned between his seat and steering wheel. A white 300 stopped to help and I called for an ambulance. A ways down the road...as I exited to get on Highway 6, there were four tow trucks closing three lanes. Three cars and a truck were smashed up against the side of the road. It was pretty bad. The drivers and passengers were sitting on the curb looking distressed and annoyed. Met a few cute girls while cashing my paycheck. Vince finished cleaning my gun and turned it over to me.

2011-10-16T21:13:00.003-05:00

Normally I'd be watching "Dexter" right now, but I'm watching "The Walking Dead" instead...sort of. Actually I've got it on split screen. Or was, rather...anyway...this episode should really have been broadcast without commercial interruption. I don't know what I want to spend my money on. It's a bad habit I've got, of letting it burn holes in my pockets. The start of another week is just hours away. I've finished going over my mom's bills, and surprisingly it's not going to take very long for me to dispose of her debt. Doing laundry is so boring.

2011-10-15T22:58:00.002-05:00

My internet connection is being weird. I'm bored...haven't got so much to look forward to. I've gotten through all of my mom's bills. Things aren't as bad as when I started payin' them. Still haven't written Marisa, I don't know if I will. I don't want to waste my time, but I don't want to let go...and I'm not accustomed to giving up. I saw most of "Scott Pilgrim vs. The World" today, it was incredibly cheesy and I didn't care for it. But it was interesting to see how hard he fought and tried...then won. That's the way it's supposed to be, right? You work hard, keep hope alive, and struggle in the face of adversity to meet success at the end of it all. I'm always denied the prize I seek. Went to Cici's with Candy yesterday...the place was packed with kids from some nearby school. I know her but my imagination runs wild with alternatives when think about the impact what I've said and done. I already know how the girl of my dreams sees me...I just can't help but visit on her another view. I cloud my own perspective with the expectation of filtering out a stealth truth. But what I want is not in the content of our conversations, it is in her eyes. Eyes I haven't seen for years. I've said this so many times before, maybe never as clearly. To her, I have. But to you, I have not. I want my woman back. Why should I suffer the price of another's deception?

2011-10-13T21:45:00.002-05:00

Another day...another sorta long day. It felt like days were sort of skipping by...and now it all seems to be reducing it's pace. Part of the problem is a lack of work. I got my gift cards today along with a new mouse. I'm interested in this new Showtime series "House of Lies". I'm watching Sunday's "Dexter" again...it's a great direction that they're going in. I'm very intrigued by Dexter exploring religion. In that he's learning...not in the sense he's embracing. Not that I'd be against that, I mean...obviously I wouldn't object. Considering this is me we're talkin' about. I've got somethin' in me still urgin' me to face Marisa. It's almost sayin' that that is the key.

2011-10-13T01:02:00.001-05:00

I forgot to mention my dream. I had THE craziest dream yesterday morning. I fell asleep at 00:30, it was like something out of "Nightmare on Elm Street". I fell asleep and woke up in my dream in the same room I was sleeping, but on the floor. I got the sense someone was watching me. Light poured in from ever crevice...my door was unlocked and I considered getting up to lock it, but didn't want to tip who was watching off. It was like a scene out of "The Fourth Kind"...as I realized I was facing alien abduction I got a huge headache. Lightning filled the air and my eyes felt like they were about to burst out of their sockets. I could feel a rush of energy swirling through and around my mind. I resisted and as it got almost to hard to bear...I woke up on the floor of the living room. It was 1:40. The whole thing felt like it lasted hours...but only one and ten minutes. Was so odd.

2011-10-12T22:22:00.002-05:00

"Power to the people" I'm sure we've all heard that at one time or another. But do you really know what it means? My boss and I were discussing it...and well, really every time I talk with anyone at length about this subject I get the notion they don't extend the concept as far as they ought to. It means so much more than choice within reason, or the confines of the establishment. It is the realization that the power to make a difference is in everyone of us, it is the conviction that one man CAN make a difference. Alone, you are an example, with a follower a cause, with followers a movement crawling toward revolution. Everyone needs to realize no one has power unless you grant it. Recognize their authority and they'll claim it. Maybe I'm just out of place in this time. Or I'm gathering, unbeknownst to me, my congregation via charismatic authority and a cult of personality. Big news! I ended world hunger today. The dude at Taco Bell asked after I placed my order if I wanted to donate a $1 to end world hunger. So I said yes. Seemed like something that would look good on a resumė. So if any time hereafter you get hungry...blame Taco Bell, 'cause they didn't hold up their end of our agreement.

2011-10-11T22:27:00.002-05:00

I'm watching "The Thing" again. Why isn't stuntman Mike stunt driving? Another day of relatively smooth work. I think, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention. New Criminal Minds tomorrow! I had a dream about Marisa last night. I've had it before, but I haven't. I have had recurring dreams, but I also have dreams that take place in the same place but follow different events. You may or may not remember this one. I can't remember if I'd got around to posting it yet or not. It would certainly have been on the old blog so if you followed me from there, thank you, and this may sound familiar to you. I've had two that took place here. First one I dreamed when I was in Mexico, I was wandering the streets for some reason and came upon a square with a park at it's center. My heart lead me to a grocery store and I just knew that she was near. Never did find her though. Next dream I was back a the square and went to the grocery store then ended up at a comic book store. But never could work up the nerve to find her. Last night, or rather, this morning, I was back at that square...but now the park was replaced by a huge swimming pool. I avoided the grocery store and the comic book shop...just walked around and around looking for the courage to see her. I made my way to a house and knocked on the door. Everything went black. Next scene, she was sitting in front of me...I looked intently as she was about to say something, but I woke up before she spoke. I hate those sorts of dreams, 'cause I realize they're dreams while in them...but am disappointed just the same when I wake from them.

2011-10-10T22:30:00.002-05:00

Thank you for reading, new audience. Woke up in a strange funk today. Lots of congestion...huge headache. Left the house without my wallet, realized it about 2 miles from my house. Didn't much care to turn around so I pressed onward knowing I could order pizza without presenting my credit card and buy gas with my speed pass. Considering all I've been listening to lately is Marilyn Manson and Rammstein...and that you can hear it from across the pasture even when I close all my doors and windows...I'm surprised my neighbors aren't pissed at me. At the very least it must be disturbing their livestock. Unless, these goats and cows like to rock. Oh, but we weren't talking about that...were we? I was the only person in my department through about 13:00. I didn't have a lot of customers, so it wasn't so bad...and I got a lot of work done. Jesse helped. I ordered my pizza...and used my speed pass just as I'd planned. But you already saw that coming. I've been takin' the experiment into consideration a lot. Trying to make sense of what it is I'm trying to do exactly. I'm executing a lot of strategies with one goal and I think I need to scale back my efforts. I've spent a long time just sitting and thinking. It's about time I get out there and start discovering. Which is part of why I want to pick up the pace on the experiment and get it all streamlined.

2011-10-09T17:51:00.002-05:00

Eagerly awaiting tonight's episode of Dexter. I woke up SO early this morning...I had a weird dream. All my dreams are weird, I don't know why I bother to describe them that way. I was in another country...possibly one in Europe. Someone's apartment...magazines and books everywhere. Woke up around 4 thinking I was needing to get somewhere. I started to watch Married...with Children, but I fell asleep again. Woke up two or three hours later convinced I had to go to work. Decided I didn't want to. then by 8:25 didn't know if I really needed to or not. I'm at the mercy of something that is very confused. I watched a movie earlier....now I'm trying to get caught up on "The Glades" but got interrupted.

2011-10-08T23:07:00.002-05:00

Just another uneventful day in rural Texas. I keep thinking about that nasty wreck I saw on my way to work. I can't imagine the occupants of either truck were doing very well. I presume those of the smaller one are dead. I found the vacuum cleaner today. Sort of...the one I was looking for was no where to be found. But I did find a new one still in its box just sitting in the shed. I put it to use. Some assembly was required, which I wasn't too crazy about. I'm thinkin' more and more about what my next car or truck will be. I'm still waiting to hear what has been concluded in regard to my request for time off. I'm also planning my expedition...I wish I could say where but it's best if I don't.

2011-10-07T21:47:00.002-05:00

I got my autographed copy of Double Dexter today!! If you couldn't already tell by my tweets that is. I was pretty much ready to abort the experiment, but I've decided to press on anyway. I don't care what people think of me, so why should I worry about what I think of me? Its a pretty great challenge too. To go against my judgement and prevail just the same. Being always right..and all. But truly that's all I've ever attempted...but never with fervor. The experiment is dragging on with indifference. I can't imagine doing this with zeal and not also being involved. That being the key, to maintaining my indifference. In my mind there is no missing component...there's just one too many. One that I can't seem to ever factor out of the formula. It won't be easy, but I believe if I can defy myself...there won't be anything I can't do. While I'm still trying, a part of me is lowering expectations while augmenting effort and endurance.

2011-10-06T23:19:00.000-05:00

Experiment took an unexpected turn to the unknown today. So unfamiliar that I almost aborted. But I can't give up...I can't let go, I have to stay detached. My revolver is with a gunsmith getting cleaned and what not. Watching "Criminal Minds" tryin' to digest today's goings on. I called my mom...got to talk to her and my uncle. He tells me she's doing much better and that everyone feels she's in better shape than she arrived. I'm glad she's doin' so well. I was going to message Marisa...but didn't. I'm bein' overwhelmed by a surge of anxiety and self doubt. What am I to do? Who or what is the source of this?

2011-10-05T22:58:00.002-05:00

I've been shopping for a new stereo system for my truck. I'm lookin' at about $370 right now...of course, I'm going to have to install it myself. My lawyer said my idea wouldn't work. So I requested the 27th off. Haven't heard whether or not it's been approved yet. You know, when I'd seen how the Majini's faces split open in RE5 I knew it seemed familiar. Just couldn't put my finger on where I'd seen it before...."The Thing" is where I had. I'm watching I'm watching it right now. The trailer for the new one makes it look not so great, but I think I'll go see it anyway. I woke up really early today, but I still managed to be almost late for work. Had to skip breakfast to get there right at 9:00. I thought my mom would've called today, but she didn't. Still haven't written Marisa, even knowing what will happen I feel like I have to try.

2011-10-04T22:30:00.002-05:00

Another day gone by without progress. "Terra Nova" is proving to be very interesting. Kinda like Jurassic Park meets Stargate Atlantis. I went to Ranchito's with Candy today. I'm seriously considering getting another truck as opposed to another car. Still thinking either a Suburban or a Hummer. Biggest concern with a newer GM vehicle is that I need to figure out how to disable OnStar. The idea of being tracked is sorta unsettling. Forgot to call the lawyer again. Still haven't gotten my gift card...and no progress on the experiment. I started looking at mobile DVR's for my research. I need to look at camera's next. I wish AM3+ would get here already! I'm ready to build a new super system.

2011-10-03T22:59:00.002-05:00

I've been pretty low on energy these days, spent the bulk of the day half asleep. I'm not going to finish...in fact, as soon as I finish this entry I'm going to bed. But, I have started watching "Terra Nova" seems pretty interesting. On my way home, I got a call with a job. Have to fix a laptop, nothing fancy, just need to find drivers. Hey! The kid from "Degrassi" is on "Terra Nova"! So that's where he went. I was really hoping to fix this thing at his house, but no such luck. Geez...I need to sleep, but I wanna see the rest of this episode. Oh well, there's always tomorrow. I haven't written Marisa this month...probably 'cause we've only had two days in it..but normally I'll have been thinking about it. I'll do it next week...probably ask her out on another date. And spend what's left of the month waiting for her to never respond. I've actually been getting that sense of urgency again...the one that says I HAVE to do something NOW. I'm just not sure what it is I'm supposed to do.

2011-10-02T22:48:00.002-05:00

Premier of Dexter is pretty great! Homeland, I'm not sure, I only was able to catch about half of it. Another week ahead of me...not looking forward to it, but not gonna complain either. Missed the past few nights...I got distracted. Donovan came down for the weekend. I was considering aborting my experiment, but I've got to keep pressing forward. I have to distance myself, it is, after all an experiment.

2011-09-29T22:27:00.002-05:00

Ok, I'm only now watching it, but last night's episode of Criminal Minds has taken the series to a new level of creepy. No progress today in the experiment. If Karma applied to me I'd be concerned with the implications of experimentation. But...it doesn't, and I don't. I don't like Owen Wilson. Something about his voice and face really annoys me. Gives the impression he's kinda slow. I am craving steak. Whatever I was afflicted with may be lingering. I'm feeling SO tired...and just without motivation. That's not unusual because I pretty much haven't got much driving me. Ok back to the episode...that dude is SO creepy...how can the family have not picked up on it through the years? I'm losing interest...not in the show...but in the mundane business of business as usual. New Dexter Sunday!!!! I can hardly stand the wait. Maybe I should let go and move forth preaching my gospel. I guess it's just isolation getting to me.

2011-09-28T21:04:00.002-05:00

These days have been growing longer and longer. Not sure what that's all about. I'm being tugged out of interest in, and concern for, my experiment. I've got to fight it and keep going. Part of the problem is excessive analysis. Someone told me I'm weird today. I get that a lot. Jammin' to some obscure DJ from the late '90's. My dad was a huge Johnny Cash fan, I didn't seem to like his music back then, but these days I can totally identify and enjoy. I'm just now realizing I totally missed Criminal Minds 'cause I was distracted. Oh well, the DVR got it. I want something to do this weekend other than pick up my check. I desire plans. But plans will not be had...in all likelihood. So I'll probably be arranging again and watching TV.

2011-09-27T23:07:00.003-05:00

Today went by kinda slow...but was better than yesterday. My experiment picked up moment then sorta plateaued. I'm going to have to reevaluate how I work through this. It's just a new challenge, I can handle it. Problem solving is my specialty. All of this is preparing me for my greatest challenge. I'm tempted to run multiple experiments but it's hard to work that out. I'm getting too involved...thinking far too much. Probably 'cause I'm gettin' impatient. I want results. I'm ready for the next step. I talked to my mom, she's doing well. She's being switched to some new medicine and everything in her test results looks good. I'm realizing I do have another venue for my experiment. One that's not so intense. I've got a happy customer, so hopefully I've also got a repeat customer. I was running Memtest on my super system and at some point the power went out. So...yeah, lost the status of the test.

2011-09-26T23:18:00.002-05:00

Today was pretty drawn out. Just dragged on and on. I still haven't gotten my gift card from the bank. I'm really in the mood to write. I picked up a system to fix on my way home...I'll be dropping it off tomorrow after work. Yeah I got that amazing turn around. Phone bill was $30 higher..apparently that's what it costs to call Mexico and talk for about 40 minutes. My research indicates that there are some really active bigfoot hotspots about an hour from where I live. I'll probably be planning on having my first expedition there. A co-worker even told me that their neighbor has had some strange goings on in his backyard. I'm really excited about this. I didn't eat anything today...at all. But I'm not hungry. Odd.

2011-09-25T20:31:00.002-05:00

What do I want to post? I'm doing better, but not as well as I'd like. No more strange dreams. I think the RAM in my system maybe failing again. I was playing some RE5 earlier and it locked up on me. It could be a fluke, but I'm concerned. Having had the memory fail on me before. I still need to do something about the mess that is my house. I talked to my mom and uncle today. Actually, it was my uncle who dialed, had me a little worried. Usually it's my maid who calls and then hands the phone to her once I've picked up. Then there was almost no mention of her for a few minutes. But I got to hear her and talk to her and felt better. They're going to the doctor sometime next week, he says Tuesday, to learn what the results of her tests are. He's telling me that my mom looks to be doing a lot better there and that she's more at ease. That's all I really want for her. To have her mind rest easy...for her to relax. I had a dream I got to talk to Marisa...or maybe I was thinking about her and fell asleep. There's a point it all stops making sense. I'm glad I've gotten back into the habit of posting daily.

2011-09-24T22:30:00.002-05:00

I've been sick ALL day. I woke up really early this morning, I was on the floor. Had had this really weird dream. My house was full of spiders and weird little creatures that were doing battle with my action figures. Which had come to life. Even my Godzilla was chomping away at the bugs. The weird thing was that he'd eat but couldn't digest so the gore would just spill out of his mouth and back on to the other spiders and creatures. It was all like a stop motion movie right before my eyes...was really creepy. Anyway...I woke up from that and went to the bathroom. All that came out was blood. Been that way all day. Only change is...more blood. I'm wondering if I just need to drink some Coke. It's the one regular part of my diet I've abstained from. I'm probably dying. If I am...none of y'all can have any of my stuff. I'm planning on being buried with all of it.

2011-09-23T22:45:00.002-05:00

Experiment is seeing a lot of progress, almost exponential growth. Things are getting very interesting...but I've still got to find a way to pick up the pace. I just read that Diablo III won't be out until early 2012! Seems like I've had it on pre-order forever. The really ridiculous thing is that you have to be online to play...EVEN if you're only playing by yourself. I'm watchin' Wolverine and...being anime, I wish they'd show gore and stuff. It's just not realistic for him to stab someone and there be no blood. I guess there isn't much in the way of profound stuff to say, that I've got today. The day was pretty good. It didn't go by too fast, our visitors ended up only being one person. I'm thinkin' it really is time to build another computer. If only Bulldozer would get here faster!

2011-09-22T22:47:00.002-05:00

Been cleaning more, no where near done. Mostly I've been sorting trash from treasure. I'm watching UFO Files. It's kinda distracting...even if I've already seen it. I called my mom earlier today, she still hasn't gotten the results from her exams. My uncle is supposed to be taking her Saturday. My experiment has seemed to met a stalemate, I need to find a way to move this to the next level. Everything I want to eat seems disgusting. I'm losing my appetite. I've got books to read and a gospel to preach. What am I doing here typing away? Shell is comin' tomorrow...we've all gotta be on our bestest behaviour. I'm getting sleepy...maybe tomorrow I'll type something more profound.

2011-09-21T16:52:00.003-05:00

I'm happy to report that my debt to society has been forgiven, contingent upon a few promises I'm expected to keep. Donovan has turned my attention to a series of informational videos. Essentially they're about circumventing The Powers That Be. I'm not ready to share, but I am going to be looking into this. If it's worth it, I'll spread the word. I don't really have much to write about, just wanted to let y'all know I've found my way out of trouble. My bank is trying to rip me off. They changed the terms of our agreement and now I'm supposed to pay them a monthly service fee. I've got it under control for now, but that really pissed me off. They sent me out a $50 gift card, but that's not enough. This is after they wrote me to tell me they're canceling my rewards program. This is BUNK. By the year's end I'll have NOTHING tying me to them. I've been banking with them since I was 18, but if they keep this up...I may be closing my account.

2011-09-20T21:45:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow, I meet my lawyer for the first time, and we figure out how to talk me out of my "debt" to society. I haven't decided what I'm going to wear yet, probably the black shirt and orange tie. But we'll see. My mom went to see a specialist today, they ran some extensive tests on her and she'll be going back tomorrow for the results. I pray she's alright. I pray they either find nothing, or can undo what they do. It's hard to talk to her, 'cause I think so much about what I don't want to happen. I can't help but think about every outcome...happy or sad. But, I can't just ignore her. She's in Mexico..and no matter how bad I don't want to face a potential dreary future, I HAVE to check on her. That's all you'll get out of me. Everything else I pretty much only share with Marisa.

2011-09-19T23:55:00.001-05:00

I'm searching high and low, to the ends of the internet for someone to write about. I need to put together a sample fan feature to move forward with my recent dream of becoming a blog contributer for Strange Music. So if you or someone you know has been impacted deeply by Strange Music or an artist of theirs, e-mail me or comment. I wanna hear and write your story. I want to finally get published. 'Cause...I don’t have enough stalkers as it is. Speaking of which! My mom's crazy friend came by today. Just let herself in...and started rambling about how she got drugged and wants to get in touch with a tabloid to tell her story. She wasn't going to leave until I gave her a number, so I told her how to submit her story to Maury. Who knows, y'all might see me on there in a few months. Today was a pretty slow day. I had pizza delivered and got to leave early. Fun fun fun.

2011-09-18T20:14:00.002-05:00

Alright, everyone cross their fingers or wish well...do whatever it is you do to conjure goodwill toward me. I've just applied to be a blog contributor for the Strange Music blog. As you may recall, I was up for administrator of the Texas Tech Squad page on MySpace and lost it for some reason to this chick. I'm enjoying a Degrassi marathon..'cause A&E isn't running a Criminal Minds marathon and I ran out of episodes on my DVR. I've been trying to clean the house all day but haven't made much progress. I cleared out a very small space and made a much bigger mess. Now I have a lot of trash and no way of disposing of it. There's a burn ban so I can't just set fire to it like I normally would. I'm pretty sore...but I've got to keep going. Who knows what I'll be busy with next weekend. HA. Like I'll have plans. I really need to hire another maid so I don't have to do this. I'll need a hot one.

2011-09-17T23:15:00.002-05:00

Listening to DJ Trance...this takes me back. I'm sort of in the mood to write. Not this...but you know...fiction as in my book. All sort of comes and goes. I was trying to broadcast some of my thoughts earlier. Long range hypnosis...that could probably be a helpful skill to acquire. I've got laundry to get done and bills to pay for my mom, on top of cleaning this house which is still lookin' like an impossible task. Good thing I don't believe in the impossible. Seemed like it was goin' to rain earlier...even saw a few drops on my windshield, but alas no rain. People from Katy and Houston were reporting rain...even some who I think were in Bellville, but none in Sealy. I had a boudin kolache this morning...it was GROSS. Looked like maggots in liver sausage. Which I have seen before. NEVER again.

2011-09-16T21:34:00.002-05:00

I had a dream this morning that a Mexican stole my truck. Still pretty pissed about losing the Criminal Minds Guru AGAIN. I woke up late, it was actually a result of the anger I felt when I realized the Mexican stole my truck. I'm gaining a bit of ground with my experiment. Got a day left off my paycheck...not alone on that one. I read the Crown Victoria is finally dead. I'm not sad to see it go. When I went to the bank to deposit my check, this woman pulled out in front of me. So I had to wait and let her by because she was going the wrong way. Then when I turned the corner and started pulling up to a free vacuum tube she pulled into that lane. What kind of retard does that? I mean EVERY car was facing the opposite direction that she was driving in, what made her think she could just go against the grain? Then when she squeezed passed me, 'cause I refused to budge, she almost hit a truck on her way out. After work some dude in a Pontiac pulled out in front of a tow truck and then swerved out in front of me. My reflexes kept me inches from their sheet metal. Not sure what's in store for me this weekend.

2011-09-15T21:07:00.001-05:00

Got some new bulbs for the truck. Tryin' to replace my DRL's, but I can't get them to light up. Bulbs are good 'cause I replaced the marker lights with the same bulbs. We'll see tomorrow morning when I set out for work. The bulbs and sockets were black...just coated in soot...I presume it was soot. Replacing the bulbs is SUPER easy. WAY easier than I thought it would be. I was all thinkin' I was going to have to remove the grill and mind the radiator. Nope. It's easier replacing bulbs on my truck than it is on my car. I'm craving chocolate...tomorrow is payday! I gotta watch my spending 'cause I go court next week. I'll be taking the day off and preparing for a brand new season of Criminal Minds! After court, of course. Ooh...I'm excited about Sunday's Top Gear!

2011-09-14T21:34:00.002-05:00

Either my readers from my last blog are finally moving over to Blogger, or the mundane content is stirring up interest in the world once more. I've only got about 4 or 5 of you consistently following me...but I intend to multiply that to the numbers I enjoyed on MySpace. I'm watching Deadliest Warrior, right now, but you probably know that from my Twitter stream. I'm thinkin' the vampires are gonna win. They've got the advantage of being sentient. In the zombie movies there is always a group of people who manage to survive, if humans can survive a zombie apocalypse, so can vampires. Pay day is just two days away. I haven't had much time to dedicate to my on going experiment. But I'm passively continuing and doing pretty well. I'm being cryptic now, but once I've gathered all the pertinent data I'll post it. I'm kinda interested in seeing Straw Dogs and Drive. Wish I could get Marisa to go with me. I really need to get my house organized...been takin' too long to get that taken care of.

2011-09-13T21:28:00.002-05:00

I got a free wireless keyboard and mouse set today! The CEO asked me a few questions, then said the Logitech MK550 was mine to keep. It's SO awesome, 'cause I don't sit very close to my computer these days, 'cause I've pretty much got everything in one room. I'm watch "Lord of the Flies" it's been FOREVER since I've watched this movie. Used to watch with the neighbors when I lived in Mexico. I really need to update this blog's design. I've been meaning to rework the CSS for a while. I've been trying to plan one of these proposed expeditions I mentioned a short while ago. I'm thinking the bigfoot expedition would be best to attempt first. But who, will join me? I'll need some quality cameras too. I'm looking into getting another truck strictly for research and going off road. I could get a Hummer, but mostly all you can find out there are H2's and 3's. I don't have a problem with the H3's but it'd have to be an Alpha, you know the one's with the V8. But I'm leaning toward a Suburban.

2011-09-11T21:57:00.002-05:00

I got a whole lot of nothing done today. I reached out to my fellow GetGlue people and only two voted to get me back to where I belong, as Criminal Minds Guru. I accidentally helped someone else get the Guru too. But I guess in the process I did dethrone the person who stole it from me. I did become Guru of Formula D, and Paul Wall. Ordered a pizza for lunch even though I have pizza here. I've been working on the house but not getting very far.

2011-09-11T01:11:00.002-05:00

A slow day found some speed when Jason called with a request for aid. His car wouldn't start and he sought my expert opinion. His battery was dead and he couldn't make sense of why since it was new. I told him that new stuff can be bad just like old stuff. His dad was vehement in his disbelief of my diagnosis. After jump starting his car, we headed back to Wal-Mart where he got it tested and I was proved right. Had a dead cell. I went to the Post Office and got breakfast at Snowflake...that's about all I did. Watered most of my mom's plants and some trees. Dug a little deeper into what will be my fire pit. Beyond watching TV and getting over to Whatburger for lunch...I didn't do much else today.

2011-09-09T23:04:00.002-05:00

I'm sort of in the middle of an experiment. It's going much better than I expected for the small amount of time and effort I've put in. Though, I've already laid the foundation for success. So this may not count. It's still worth seeing through for the sake of polishing my skill. All this is...practice for my greatest challenge. Enough about that....it's going to get me talking too much. Tonight's episode of ThunderCats is about dueling...makes me wanna watch Afro Samurai. I think I will, after this is over. I talked to my mom. She's doing pretty good. My uncle is going to see to it she stays in Mexico for at least three months. I feel a lot better knowing she'll be there instead of here. This gives me a chance to settle all her debts and straighten out the house. Get things the way I want them finally.

2011-09-08T22:39:00.002-05:00

These wildfires are fillin' up my city and route to work with smoke...which has got me cravin' BBQ daily. I think my readers mask their IP's. But why?!?! I'm tired of traffic sources being "acidrefluxsymptoms.info" and "sicknesssense.com" unless...unless the Chinese are reading. Their internetz are under communist rule...maybe they're hijacking American IP's to read what I have to say! I feel loved...by the Chinese. Chinamen and women are cool, even though I can't stand their food. Random...I know, but it HAD to be said. Been listening to a lot of Bowling For Soup lately...that and Marilyn Manson. Days aren't getting much more exciting. I started to go out to eat this afternoon, then totally remembered I needed to change the oil. So I went to the nearest Kwik Kar but took the wrong roads. I mean..I got there, but there was a faster way. I ended up flyin' down 59 to get back to work with a whoppin' two minutes to spare. As I briskly walked toward the door I saw the CFO and realized I should've been back eight minutes earlier so my boss could go to his weekly meeting with...the CFO.

2011-09-07T22:13:00.002-05:00

Had an alright day. I don't know, it still seems like everything is blending together and not exactly amounting to much of anything. And...I just lost my Criminal Minds Guru status on GetGlue. I've GOT to steal it back. I'm watching The Fourth Kind right now, started watching last night and got pretty sleepy and freaked out. Yeah..I got freaked out. Movie is very thought provoking and is igniting in me a fervor I haven't had in a long time. I've always wanted to find the truth...but now...I'm more driven. So there is no doubt I'll be going on my bigfoot expedition and ghost hunt. The truth is out there for me to discover...how can I just ignore it? I want to start by learning Sumerian.

2011-09-05T15:37:00.002-05:00

Makes me weird, I know, but I don't much care for days off. I'm SO bored and don't know what to do with myself. I almost fell asleep, it tends to happen...I find peace and my heart beats slower and slower....then it stops. It's a strange sensation, leaving me open to a whole other world. But I don't surrender, instead, I just wake up and get it beating again. This day has been so uneventful...I should go bake a pie. An apple pie. Yes, I think that's what I'll do.

2011-09-04T22:01:00.005-05:00

Went to go see "Apollo 18", it was alright...could've been a lot better. Really had potential. There was a fire across the street from the theater, we spent a few minutes snapping pictures of the fire raging on before goin' in. During the movie I could smell the smoke seeping in. Oh...how I long to drive FAST once more in my car. I'm tempted to order a battery and whatever parts I need for my transmission tonight. But I've got to be smart with my money...no telling how things will turn out between now and the end of my trials. I'm craving exhilaration in this mundane existence...unfortunately nothing I could ever experience will ever be enough to satisfy my lust. We went to La Finca and they messed up my order, but it ended up not being so bad. I'm making preparations for a ghost hunt and bigfoot expedition in the not so distant future. I'm questioning if Comic-Con will be a reality next year.

2011-09-03T20:23:00.003-05:00

Pretty interesting day...I went to Bellville, got my mom's mail from the Post Office, and thought I lost the keys to her box. Turns out they fell between the seats of my truck. After that I headed over to the square for market day and checked out my friend Jason's booth. He's selling knives now. I picked up a pair or pocket knives. One to keep in the truck, the other on my person. My mom called me this morning, she's thinking she wants to come back on the 1st of October...I tried to tell her she needs to stay in Mexico. In her house with her family...that's where I think she'll do best. She doesn't understand that I can handle all her bills without her input. I don't even know why she thinks she needs to be here, as it is the bills I don't pay the bank does...so there are at least two people handling her affairs. She doesn't even touch any of that stuff. A friend from church offered an absurd suggestion. He thinks I need to take a trip to Europe. Said I should take my mom. Ridiculous, I'm not going to take time off of work and waste money on something like that. Mexicans say some of the most random things sometimes. After checking out Jason's booth, I went to Sealy to get some groceries and stopped by Domino's. On my way out I saw a brown Suburban..much like Chris'. Black Chris that is...not fat Chris, I still can't stand him. Anyway, as I put the notion it's him to rest I hear "DEORY!". Didn't see him, so I put my pizza in my truck and locked it to go investigate. He was presumably getting some snacks before pumping some gas. We had a long conversation that 'caused him to pump too much gas. He was pretty pissed "Deroy! I only wanted to pump $10, now I got $56 'cause I was here talkin' to you!". Then he got mad 'cause I kept talking to him which distracted him from his objective, to leave and get his inspection sticker. I became the Guru of Criminal Minds last night. I've been working on that since I joined GetGlue.

2011-08-29T19:59:00.002-05:00

Had a strange experience in my house in Mexico...I was pretty out of it when we arrived. I was SO tired. I had moments where I was strugglin' to keep my eyes open and times where I was doing just fine. One of the times I was strugglin' I had this day dream. I was standing in a big room, a ring of mirrors surrounded me. It actually all looked like one big reflective ring, but half of them were black. The other half were separated into seven panels. My reflection was in each one, but, all my reflections were posed differently than I was standing. Some were moving, others were watching. Kinda freaked me out, when I opened my eyes I could still see them but they faded quickly. The whole weekend, I could hear voices and noises through out the house. Even when I was the only one there. Last night, when I got home, I tied up loose ends and after watching True Blood and Top Gear tried to go to sleep. It was around 1. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard voices coming from the other room. It sounded like the TV was on. I distinctly recall two men talking about something. I got a flash light and at stayed lit for less than three seconds...then just went dark. I turned the TV in the kitchen on and it almost instantly when dark. I got my stun gun out and then it died pretty much instantly too. I got up and walked in the direction of the voices and said "HEY! Get OUT of my house, NOW!" Then I started playing some Slim Thug and went to bed.

2011-08-25T21:44:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow night I leave for Mexico. I'll be back before the weekend's end.

2011-08-24T22:31:00.002-05:00

Have you ever felt like your whole life has changed, but everything is still the same? For better, or worse, whatever you have around you doesn't care. These days I'm clingin' tightly to what I've always felt for the most beautiful girl I've ever met. But somethin' with in me is pullin' me away. Draggin' me away. It's like my mind is tryin' to keep it strong, but my heart is lookin' to surrender. Feels like a test of my spirit. We may as well be the worst of best friends.

A man of vastly depleted health called me this morning. He offered no greeting, just said "Come get me." I replied "I don't know who you are." he said he was my father, was in the hospital, and wanted me to come get him. Every word clung tightly to his weak breath as if that were it's only means of propulsion. I've been turning our conversation over in my mind as carefully and quizzically as a love letter I doubt says all I've got to say. I've been tempted to call him back and see if he made it out. Instead I'll reach out and ask that anyone who's willing pray for him. I feel it's the most I can do for him.

2011-08-22T00:03:00.002-05:00

A lot of people and songs proclaim the one you love should be like or in fact, your best friend. Confidant. Though I confide most everything in one woman, she shares rarely with me. No fears, no tears, no qualms at all...on a regular basis. It's like we can't connect. It doesn't stop with love, it bleeds into the platonic too. Seemingly the rest of the world and I are incompatible. I'm not grounded, so any contact is truly dangerous or just a lie. It's something I hate to say, 'cause I do feel so close to her. Seems as if our distance, she has self-imposed. I verily don't understand this imposition. Especially if at every turn I've obliged her and she denied me. I don't subscribe to this school of thought where I have to be a jerk to get the girl. What I'm after and they're after are entirely different things. Besides, if I try and try and try...I get what I want. Always have, always will, but don't always want it once I've got it. But as I said I confide MOST everything in her...but not all I have to share. Therein lies my question, why am I unable to connect? I have no ties so strong that I am obligated to remain faithful to at all times. I do, remain faithful, only 'cause I'm not a jerk.

2011-08-06T22:18:00.002-05:00

I'm giving in to the urge to go out...I'm craving Whataburger. I'm watching "The Manhattan Project" interesting film. I went to Pizza Hut today, asked for a box for my leftovers totally had a bug in it. Didn't feel like leaving the food after I had requested a way to save it. So I took it, then tossed it. I am craving some late night snack...Whataburger sounds really good. I have to take my mom to Mexico. Not sure how I'm going to do it. I really don't want to take the bus, but that seems to be the safest way. Still not a sure thing, though. Either way I can't take my shotgun. I really don't want to go. But she HAS to and I can't let her go alone. This is to be an extended stay...I'm not certain she realizes that. I have to be in court on the 21st of next month.

2011-08-03T21:46:00.002-05:00

Finally found a way to connect at a decent speed. Not really, I still can't stream without dropping quality. Bad thing is, HBO won't let me change the quality on their go service so every thirty seconds or so it buffers. I've been thinking about getting a Corvette again. But truthfully I should be focusing on my Camaro. The great debate that's raged on all this time. If anyone wants a Google+ invite, comment or e-mail and I'll set you up with one.

2011-07-31T18:59:00.002-05:00

Hello World! Oh, that should've been my first post, huh? *sigh* and not of relief. Got a little something in the mail yesterday. I've got warrants, because my attorney didn't do his job. He was supposed to reset my court date and didn't. So now I've got to take time off of work get all this straight. I'm a fair dude so I'm reserving judgement right. I have presumed my attorney didn't do his job, but I won't be saying anything or dropping his name until I'm certain of it. You'd better believe, however, if I find he was negligent, I'm suing him AND reporting him to the Texas State Bar. Both he and his secretary told me that once I'd retained him he would reset my court date. I called him yesterday and but he didn't answer or call me back. Which makes me wonder what the point in having his cellphone number is if he's not going to answer it.

2011-07-27T22:36:00.002-05:00

For the most part, today was blah. Then when I went to lunch...things picked up. I was sitting in the truck eating a pizza when this dude walks up and starts talking to me. I can't hear a thing so I roll down the window. He shows me this table top fountain and starts to talk about how it's a meditation aid. I looked at him and said "You think I care about peace? Do I look like the sort who meditates?" So I ask "...alright, what else you got?" He reaches in to this box and pulls out a stun gun. I have to admit my interest was peaked. Most of what he said went in one ear out the other. I have to admit I wasn't crazy about giving some stranger my credit card info. But I snapped a pic of him when he wasn't looking and jotted down his ID's info. Dude was covered in sweat, like totally soaked. So I sorta felt sorry for him. I haven't used it yet, but I am kinda excited to see what kinda experiments I can do with it.

2011-07-25T22:14:00.002-05:00

I'm madly in love with this girl named Marisa. She's all that eases my pain...until I met her I could've honestly said I had nothing to lose...

2011-07-24T22:45:00.002-05:00

Disgust, it's something I'm getting very familiar with. Started with hating my words and has spread to food. I find it harder and harder to want to eat. I get to my truck and don't know where to go. Have no cravings. I let my senses draw me to wherever they feel I'd do best. Friday they lead me to where the CFO was eating. I wonder what that means. Today I wanted to get breakfast, but didn't feel hungry and wasn't sure where to go. Seems like now I eat on impulse not out of desire. I know, I have to eat. But I just don't want to. The food it just disgusts me. Tonight I got sick. Don't know if it's from what I forced myself to eat, or if this is empathy.

2011-07-18T22:34:00.002-05:00

Between getting invited to Google+ and getting my truck back in running condition there's been a few things here and there that haven't gone as well as I'd've liked them to. I haven't been writing as often as I said I would. Partly it's a consequence of my laziness. I have so much more to say and I really don't like cutting this short, but I've got to get up early in the morning.

2011-07-17T23:42:00.000-05:00

Finally! It seems. I have a working truck! Thanks to Kelly, who took time out of his weekend to help me out. Through all the suggestions he stayed firm in his conviction it was my fuel pump. And under his advisement I bought a pump before anything else. My battery died which left a bit of a delay between install and finally getting to drive again. But after a quick trip to Katy we were back in business. Somewhere along the way, I left a bolt out and now my bed bounces around a bit. But aside from that, everything seems fine. I've made a few trips to town now, and am hopeful I can make it to Stafford tomorrow.